You should never stop learning...

Don't feed the negative thought process...

Challenge yourself mentally

Help yourself learn how to change and grow. 

Too many people hide from their own emotions because they don't know how to cope or deal with them. 

Learning to communicate effectively; 

It can often be confronting, but communication is an important key to living life and having whole and fulfilling relationships with others.  

That doesn't mean we can't learn. 

The mind is the most powerful tool we have, so we shouldn't let it go to waste. 

Often, instead of thinking about finding solutions to problems, we stay focused on the issue and how it makes us feel and it's a vicious cycle to be caught in. 

If we don't challenge ourselves and we allow our thoughts to take over, this way can lead to more complication, more misunderstanding, more anxiety, depression and fear.  

Challenge yourself 

Think positive thoughts! 

Analyse your emotions not hide from them 

Challenge yourself to move forward  

Don't give into the despair and blackness which is all too easy 

I challenge you to find a way to keep moving forward....

Start building your mental strength today. You got this :) 

***Mental Health Awareness***

Others can only do so much. 

You should never rely solely on anyone.  

The point of a professional in conjunction with family and friends is purely for you to create a support network while you work on helping yourself, find your way to the right things that work for you.  

At the end of the day you are responsible for that, no one else.  

No matter what your diagnosis, you are not your symptoms. 

Don't let them control you.  

Knowing them, understanding them and learning ways to live with them is what should be your main focus in order for you to get better, live a full and productive life.  

Not the diagnosis or the symptoms, they are only the first steps. 

Until you realise and understand this important point and that your next step to recovery is action and planning.....you will only continue to go around in circles. 

Think about, yes. Process it, yes. Then you move forward. What's next?

It's hard, very hard, make no mistake about that but so are other things life throws at us. 

People learn to live with many types of conditions both physically & mentally, it's just a matter of finding the right strategies, mindset and support. 

There is endless help & resources available out there but sometimes you have to seek it out. 

Our mental health system is understaffed and overwhelmed so take some initiative for yourself. 
The mental health system can only do so much, so it's up to YOU to come up with strategies to implement as well then talk them over with your supports.

It's all about perspective and change, don't give yourself a life sentence by being a victim to your own mental health. 

Keep strong, you got this. :) 

Living with ED and those special occasion....

So I over indulged for the Christmas and New Year period how about you? 

Hoping you’re not too hard on yourselves for it because you shouldn't be.
I'm okay with it, because I'm not allowing myself to mentally associate an enjoyable evening with friends and family by the amount of food or drink I consumed.

In fact don’t even acknowledge anymore what I eat or drink in these situations now.
Positive self-talk is a must and it is through this I have been in recovery for so long.

I allow myself to wallow in the joy rather than what I once would have despised myself for. 
I don't regret that I had so much because it was fun and I enjoyed it, my night was full of laughter & happiness and I won't allow guilt to creep in and taint an experience anymore.
I did nothing wrong and the food I ate wasn't even that bad if I allow myself to think about it....
I've said it before in previous blogs about ed. 
There is nothing wrong with a little bit of indulgence sometimes! It's not an everyday thing. 
It took me a long time to see this but....
That's how I choose to look at it now and you can too, one day.

So how can you deal with these things? 

Rather than hate myself before and after an event and dread the lead up to it I prepare.
Say for maybe a week either side? 
I condition & prepare myself mentally and physically. 
Mentally - with only good thoughts of fun/happiness, catching up with people and the excitement of the event and I will be grateful for being able to participate in these wonderful occasions. 
Physically - I will eat heaps of fruit and veg and put other good stuff into this awesome body of mine that helps carry me through my life...to help nourish and feed it for a night of partying ;) 
The after part is kind of a detox too, I guess and that will help me feel physically better and get back on track to feeling okay about me, should I have any doubts creeping in; not likely these days I'm happy to say.

Lots of water, which is important too because dehydration can also make you feel really crappy. 
Hope that all makes sense and is helpful

Remember your thoughts can be so damaging or they can be a positive influence; in all aspects of your life. 
You do have that power and control within you and you need to find your strength to override the bad thoughts. 
As always.....I believe in you, you got this! 

Your trigger isn't real....

Triggers are a part of life for some of us...we have a past traumatic stress that haunts us and for the most part we learn to cope, live and move on...then out of the blue, smack bang! Something will set us off. 

It can literally send us so far back into panic mode that we lose all sense of reality back into a world that's not real anymore and it can be so easy to become lost in that memory.
This is a trigger!

But a trigger is not the thing that happened; it is just that, a memory. Nothing more!
For most of us the initial trauma is usually something that was out of our control & the mental scars are something we have to learn to deal with.
Our triggers however only have as much power as we are willing to give them.
Take back the control as hard as that is.
Don't feed it....hang onto reality really tightly now, use what you can see, touch, smell, feel...until the moment passes, & it will!

If you only learn one thing today it is this...
Your trigger isn't real. Your trigger isn't real. Your trigger isn't real! 

Peace & Love

Mental Health Awareness.

When you struggle with mental health sometimes sharing your story can be really helpful to others that can relate but I believe the focus should be on what you do to overcome these moments, how you actively achieve stability? What techniques you use? 

Those who have battled it and come out the other side know how important it is to take on the responsibility for your own mental health.

We should be emphasising & encouraging progress and change.
We all have a story to share but achieving the end result should be what we focus on the most; How to get to a better head space.

Please share your mental health stories but make them uplifting, empower and encourage others with your words.
Help build strength and resilience.
The mindset needs to change otherwise are we not all just feeding off one another's negativity? Playing into the illness that can consume us;
All that does is help the dark cloud that hangs above us to get bigger & bigger....when we should be trying to help ourselves grow.
The aim should be diminishing the black cloud not feeding it.

If someone's story inspires you...follow their lead, lift the darkness that surrounds you.
But you have to be an active and willing participant.
The only thing stopping you...is you!

Talk about how you feel and why, get it out, that is essential but listen to how others achieve recovery....think about it, be mindful, focus on what you can do, not what you think you can't.
Educate yourself and others, about your particular illness, build a good & reliable support network, and then find ways to deal with it.
This is one of the most important steps to recovery for any mental illness. You have to work at it!

Can we not give our support and sympathy as well as teach, listen & learn? Don't feed it. Acknowledge & validate someone’s feelings always but then ask them; what is something good they may have done for themselves today?
Then maybe make some suggestions.

I believe we give mental illness too much power over ourselves and we need to stop.
It's not easy, it doesn't happen overnight but building up resilience to anything is never a quick fix....this is no different.
Raising awareness & helping people live a normal life should include finding solutions.
Treat your mental illness like any other illness you may get stuck with, take responsibility for it, set up plan of action and tackle it head on!
Don't live your symptoms, combat them!

Contribute so that others can build their strength too!
The take away questions here are....what can I do for myself, what do I need to do to achieve it?
Make a list! 

That's what I want to see when I see things about raising awareness, that's what I want you to think about! 

This is what empowerment looks like...

A strong person doesn't need validation from others to feel worthy,
they only rely on themselves because.....
They already know what they're worth!

Don't undervalue the words of our older generations

When was the last time you had a good chat with an old/older person? 

A really in-depth discussion about life, theirs and yours? 

I get the feeling these days that young people just don't want to hear it and I get the feeling it's because they wouldn't want their behavior questioned or to feel judged?

(Judgement isn't always a negative thing and can help you reassess your lifestyle) 
I'm wondering if you feel like that, then perhaps you're not entirely comfortable with the choices you make after all? 

For all your free thinking ways these days you sure all seem scared of good old fashioned communication. 

To question or be questioned about something is often hard to face and it takes a level of maturity to cope with that rationally, to listen to the opinion of others calmly and to take on board what is being said and then think about it. 

I can tell you right now, old/older people do understand.  

They have been there, they have done that and most importantly, they have learnt!  

The situation and the times may change but the emotions we all feel are the same throughout each generation.  

So next time you are feeling low about something, love, life, friendships work etc maybe ask an older person, have you ever dealt with this?  

 There is often a lot to be learned by making your own mistakes but sometimes hurt, heartache or poor judgment can be prevent or lessened by listening to the opinion of others, others who have a bit more life experience. 
Is that really such a bad thing, to ask, to listen?  

You don't need to do what they say...just consider their words, advice is meant to be shared and thought on, the decision is always still yours, & no one is trying to take that away from you but maybe an attitude readjustment is in order?  A different way of seeing? 

Don't undervalue or discard the words of our older generations because without it we have no guidance.  

Too many of our older generation feel worthless so make them feel valuable because they are and the knowledge & wisdom they have gained through learning could very well be what you need to hear.

Maybe you'll even take something good from it away with you....

Suicide - Don't leave the world to soon

When a person chooses to take their own life, they take away so much more than that.


They don't think it will matter, they don't think they matter, so the decision may sometimes becomes less of a burden for them & an easier choice to make.
But for every person that thinks no one will care, there is someone. It may be someone close to you or it may be someone whose life you have touched at some point but there will be someone and in following through with your decision, you will affect their life irreversibly.
I know it's not a decision you've made lightly, I know you've thought about it a lot.
It's these thoughts that are a burden.
They can consume you. But it's not your only option.

The ones you leave behind will be left with that burden, the questions no one can ever answer.
They will be left with the consequences of dealing with someone else's actions.
You may think, sure they will be sad for a while but they'll get over it & forget about you soon enough.
I promise you, they won't. I won't lie to you, it will haunt them for the rest of their days.
They will learn to live with it, they will learn somehow to cope...but it will never, ever leave them.
Some days will be worse than others, some days will just be unbearable, but they will endure & they will try to live life as best they can because they know they must.
There is only one thing in this life that can't be changed & that is death.

 
Death comes to us all at some point but it's the living of life that makes a difference to the world to others, not our death.
Don't leave the world to soon, don't leave a trail of heartache behind you.
Leave your mark in a good way and don't leave your burdens behind for others to carry.
There is always someone there for you, always someone willing to help. Family, friends, strangers....someone!
You have to open up your heart, mind and eyes to living.
The responsibility is yours and yours alone.

 
Every day is an opportunity to make a new begging no matter what happened the day before.
You can change this irreversible decision before it becomes too late & you can find people to help you achieve the change you need to help you create new thought patterns but change always begins with you. I know, it's not easy.

I don't know you, you don't know me but I ask you to consider.....I want you to live.

Relationships

We should all aspire to this

This is lovely and gave me a smile. 😍
Real love is about compromise and team work 
Are you doing it right? 
There is no "I" or "me" only "Us" 
Together! 
I hope you have this or find it because there is nothing better. 

‪#‎love‬ ‪#‎loyalty‬ ‪#‎respect‬ ‪#‎trust‬ ‪#‎communication‬ ‪#‎commitment‬

Always reassess yourself.

Take note of your behavior and people's reactions to it.

Always question if you have a partner are you doing the right thing, do you treat them how they deserve?  

How do you treat your relationship. Do you respect it or take it for granted?  

Do you make others happy or do you not care about how others feel?  

How do you see & treat yourself?  

Self analysis is something we all should be doing from time to time & is a very important part of the growth process.

Suicide

Now trust me when I tell you I also know the joy of overcoming these feelings

The joy of living again, rebuilding a life you thought was lost.

The relief to finally understand that when people said it can & will get better....they weren't just saying it

Sometimes nothing is ever easy, sometimes it swamps & overwhelms you so much...you simply can't see past it

But where there is still life there is always hope 

But the change has to start within your own mind

You will have set backs, you will get knocked back down

That's apart of living too

You are not alone, you are not the only one

There is only one decision that you can't change 

Only one decision that has no flexibility 

Only one decision you can never come back from

That decision is permanent...nothing else is fixed

Everything else can be changed, reworked, remade or restarted 

It may not be how you planed it to start with but life is full of endless possibilities

The only thing truly stopping us from moving forward...is ourselves 

Suicide should never ever be an option

"You don't really want to end your life...just the pain you are experiencing" 

This is not the way, it's really not. So many better options waiting to be discovered. 

Change is the only way forward

Take the steps you need to today to accept & embrace the new life that's waiting for you <3

Eating Disorder part 2

I really hope you can take something good from this J

How to deal with triggers, instead of hiding from them?

They are everywhere so what can we do to desensitize & overcome them until we build the strength to not let them trigger us?
We focus on the fear of, rather than a solution to... 

Well for a start everyone is different and has different triggers, so first of all, know your triggers

Don't focus on them, a trigger is something to blame for your actions, don't give them that power over you

Eg my triggers were numbers 

Don't let triggers be your excuse to continue the bad behaviours you have learned
Start unlearning & relearning now
You taught/convinced yourself of the bad you can turn it around and start teaching yourself some good
Be warned it is harder to learn to be positive but it is worth it for the end result
A life of satisfaction, happiness & empowering yourself verses a life filled with self-loathing, self-harm and despair
Which will you choose?

No calorie counting, you can eat healthy without numbers, learn what healthy eating is, but don't obsess over it...your body needs healthy and so does your brain
Indulging is something yummy every so often is not a crime so stop punishing yourself

No scales...it's not important how much you weigh as long as you are comfortable, once every 6 months at dr's is more than enough... I let my clothes guide me if they're a bit snug, eat healthier...if they are falling off me...eat bit of extra

No measuring... Again let your clothes be the judge...if it feels a bit snug there could be many different reasons, not weight gain!

Water retention, period, bloating/constipation 
Don't focus on clothing size eg not everything that says size 10 is size 10...different makes/styles fit differently 

Mirrors...don't linger, quick check..walk away
it's not needed...I look fine, I don't need to stand there wasting time critiquing myself 

I've had to train myself away from all that & in doing so when I do see scales in a store I mostly ignore them now...it's not always easy but it's about controlling the disorder not letting it control you, you have to learn that...I have been successfully following these steps for 20 plus years now 
It won't happen quickly so be patient with yourself 
If you jump on the scales 100 times a day, tomorrow aim for 99...baby steps....but every time you fight that urge you are winning 
Every time you walk away...smile and give yourself a mental pat on the back because you deserve it, the numbers no longer rule you & you are one step further ahead than you were yesterday  :) 

Consequences

There will always be consequences to your actions
Some good, some bad
Some decisions can have a massive impact on others 
Your actions have the potential to build relationships or destroy them 
But what you need to remember is that you created the situation 
You and you alone made the decision that led you to where you are now
You need to take responsibility for it not blame others when it doesn't work for you 
We can't control how others react only what we do 
So think before you decide to do something, think of the consequences not only for yourself but what it may do to others & the relationships you have with them 
Sometimes it's not just about you! 

Change

Change can be hard and frightening for some however there is never any gain without hard work resilience and endurance 
There is no shame in having things go wrong in your life, the only shame is in not doing all in your power to fix it

Sounds harsh I know but it's true. You have the power and ability within yourself

Is it time for you  to stop trying and start actively doing? 

Never be afraid to seek help & support if it's needed 

Above all

Believe in yourself <3

Always move forward

My thoughts are sometimes black, like a bottomless hole, I can see no solid ground. 



I sometimes feel lost floating in the shadows of my mind. I'd rather not taint the world around me by sharing these things











































BUT...



















At the start of each new day, I try 
to remind myself it's a chance for new beginnings for brighter thoughts to be born & created  with the rising of the sun  I am hopeful...forever hopeful that the darkness will fade away again...

Religion...eh it's not for everyone!

Ok so we all know & hear about the bad things in regard to some religions
I honestly probably see more of this than I do the good things or people posting about the good things to be honest
We live in a world where many people think religion has no place anymore

Many young people seem to feel if you follow a religion you must be narrow minded & blind...sometimes that can be the case, there's no denying it
But when you ask them why?
Some of the things they say are in fact living by the Old Testament which, let's face it is pretty brutal..it is & as it should be a thing of the past....history...long done away with for the most part

If they understood a true Christians purpose & faith they would probably relies the values, morals etc are more closely related to to their own than not

Yes there is still room for change in a lot of organized religions with some even taking this on board...more power to them
The new pope seems like a pretty rad dude
I like him

There has been some awful corruption & some terrible things done in organized religion over the years, in some religions it's still going on but that can be said for anything....police, schools, families just about anyone & anything is open to corruption
That's human nature, not the religion or organization itself, & most normal religious people are horrified at the history of some churches but I say again that is the person & the choices they make & to blindly follow in the footsteps of corruption makes a pretty tragic person

But like life in general some things should not be tolerated, worshiped, or followed...change is happening as these organizations learn to grow & "catch up" it just may be slow in some cases but hey at least they are willing for change

I ask you though if you are one of those that has a zero tolerance to all religions....what does that make you?
Are you not just like those religious fanatics that try to push the word of god onto everyone?

Hmmm something to consider, yes?

Don't tar all religions with the one brush...or all Christians as one mindless flock there is good & bad in everything.

Maybe educate yourself properly, talk to different people from different religions before making a biased judgment based on what others say or what you've read
& above all respect someone else's views even if they may be different to yours.
Religious & non religious alike...let's strive for equality

As long as they aren't trying to force you to join them, who are you to force your opinion onto them & tell them they are stupid?
Sure they can follow some pretty stupid views in my eyes...but that could be said of a lot of things

Not all religions are the same, not all religious people hold the same blind views
& some people take real comfort from what some religions have to offer them
Where do you think most organized charities spring from?

They can do a lot of good as well...remember that

I don't like it when religious people try to tell me my views are wrong or that their religion is the only right way
but I equally don't like it when narrow minded people who don't understand faith pick on, ridicule or put down someone for their religious beliefs
This was written because I've seen a bit of religion bashing lately, it might be worth stepping back & looking at yourself first
I'm not saying you should or shouldn't follow a religion all I'm saying is it's not all bad and maybe do your research before you go hating on it and it's followers...

Peace, Love  & Joy to all <3