Suicide

Now trust me when I tell you I also know the joy of overcoming these feelings

The joy of living again, rebuilding a life you thought was lost.

The relief to finally understand that when people said it can & will get better....they weren't just saying it

Sometimes nothing is ever easy, sometimes it swamps & overwhelms you so much...you simply can't see past it

But where there is still life there is always hope 

But the change has to start within your own mind

You will have set backs, you will get knocked back down

That's apart of living too

You are not alone, you are not the only one

There is only one decision that you can't change 

Only one decision that has no flexibility 

Only one decision you can never come back from

That decision is permanent...nothing else is fixed

Everything else can be changed, reworked, remade or restarted 

It may not be how you planed it to start with but life is full of endless possibilities

The only thing truly stopping us from moving forward...is ourselves 

Suicide should never ever be an option

"You don't really want to end your life...just the pain you are experiencing" 

This is not the way, it's really not. So many better options waiting to be discovered. 

Change is the only way forward

Take the steps you need to today to accept & embrace the new life that's waiting for you <3

Eating Disorder part 2

I really hope you can take something good from this J

How to deal with triggers, instead of hiding from them?

They are everywhere so what can we do to desensitize & overcome them until we build the strength to not let them trigger us?
We focus on the fear of, rather than a solution to... 

Well for a start everyone is different and has different triggers, so first of all, know your triggers

Don't focus on them, a trigger is something to blame for your actions, don't give them that power over you

Eg my triggers were numbers 

Don't let triggers be your excuse to continue the bad behaviours you have learned
Start unlearning & relearning now
You taught/convinced yourself of the bad you can turn it around and start teaching yourself some good
Be warned it is harder to learn to be positive but it is worth it for the end result
A life of satisfaction, happiness & empowering yourself verses a life filled with self-loathing, self-harm and despair
Which will you choose?

No calorie counting, you can eat healthy without numbers, learn what healthy eating is, but don't obsess over it...your body needs healthy and so does your brain
Indulging is something yummy every so often is not a crime so stop punishing yourself

No scales...it's not important how much you weigh as long as you are comfortable, once every 6 months at dr's is more than enough... I let my clothes guide me if they're a bit snug, eat healthier...if they are falling off me...eat bit of extra

No measuring... Again let your clothes be the judge...if it feels a bit snug there could be many different reasons, not weight gain!

Water retention, period, bloating/constipation 
Don't focus on clothing size eg not everything that says size 10 is size 10...different makes/styles fit differently 

Mirrors...don't linger, quick check..walk away
it's not needed...I look fine, I don't need to stand there wasting time critiquing myself 

I've had to train myself away from all that & in doing so when I do see scales in a store I mostly ignore them now...it's not always easy but it's about controlling the disorder not letting it control you, you have to learn that...I have been successfully following these steps for 20 plus years now 
It won't happen quickly so be patient with yourself 
If you jump on the scales 100 times a day, tomorrow aim for 99...baby steps....but every time you fight that urge you are winning 
Every time you walk away...smile and give yourself a mental pat on the back because you deserve it, the numbers no longer rule you & you are one step further ahead than you were yesterday  :)